Meet me in my pain

Let's be real. When struggling with anxiety and depression, it isn't always full blown. Yes, some short or long periods of time it is. In those times of pain, people don't really know how to react. So let's break it down and invite others into what goes through our heads and how to react.  

Sometimes we feel numb.

Sometimes we feel like we can't move.

Sometimes we feel like we can't breath.

These are the feelings that depression and anxiety leave in us. But what happens when people try to help, often pushes us further down.  Most people assume our emotions are an on and off switch. If they simply tell us to "cheer up" or remind us "it'll be okay" that all will be well again. Unfortunately it doesn't happen like that. If only it was that easy. The thought process that our loved ones have is just trying to encourage us out of this terrible state of mind we are in at the time. They really want to encourage us to be happy and they just want to fix the problem.  

I'm here to explain to all of you who don't understand. All of you who have any sort of relationship with someone who suffers from anxiety and depression. Encouragement to cheer up only makes us feel worse. Not only is there something deep down already telling us something is horribly wrong with us to begin with, we now feel this added struggle that we are unable to be good enough parents, spouses, kids, or friends.

We now have this added pressure that we have let down the people we love in a huge way, because we simply cannot get up and cheer up.  If you want to know what helps, let's unpack that. It's a simple hug. A kiss from your spouse or kids. A simple "I love you". Holding our hand. Even just sitting with us. (Yes, you can just sit there and do nothing)  We don't need your pitty. We don't need your encouragement. We don't want you trying to fix us.  We simply want you to meet us in our pain. That's it! Meet us where we are.

Remind us that we are all humans. Remind us that everyone struggles with something! Be okay with us not being okay.  And that is how we feel loved amidst our pain.