Finding and Maintaining Mom Friends
Can I just say that I love other mamas like you! Moms that can support each other in this journey of parenthood. Moms that can lift one another up when we've had a hard day. Moms that understand that texting back sometimes may take up to a week or longer. Moms that laugh together at the ridiculous and sometimes inappropriate things our kids say. Having other moms in your life is highly important, but there's always the question of how exactly do we find and maintain these friendships? Especially since parenthood is such a busy stage in life.
Finding mom friends...
Hate to break the bad news to you super introverted people, but you need to put yourself out there. Just like dating. You did it once, so you can do it again! There are tons of places to find other mom friends. If you are at the park and your child starts getting along really well with another child, try and plan to come back another time together. If you take your newborn to a mommies and babies group at the gym or any other place, start up a conversation with some of the other mamas. You can try a MOPS group in your area. It's basically a bunch of moms getting together for coffee, food, chatting, and some crafts. Oh and did I mention there's babysitting? Yes please!!
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Now that we have an idea of where to find some other mom friends, I'll let you in on a secret to mom friendship. You gotta sorta mom date. Yup. You thought the awkwardness stopped after you met the love of your life and you never had to go on a first date ever again. Wrong! Getting to know other moms helps you find ones that you and your kids will mesh with and which ones you'd prefer to kindly avoid. Do you wanna find a mom that is very schedule oriented like yourself? Someone who will understand that you need to get your child to nap at the same time everyday? Or do you want a friend who is more relaxed and able to plan last minute adventures? Do you want a mom that serves healthier options as snacks because you have a high value for nutrition? Or do you wanna hang with the mom that will allow their child to eat treats when you're with friends because its sort of a special occasion? Do you want a mom friend that has a slightly inappropriate sense of humor or one that likes to sit and have more serious and mature chats? Just find your people!
Maintaining mom friends...
Maintaining mom friends can be tough for many, because the act of maintaining those friendships takes effort. It takes working through differences. It constantly needs encouragement.
Effort:
You have to actually contact your friends. You have to show up in the good times, bad times, exciting times, and boring times. Maintaining friends means consistently being a friend. Yes, there will be times where life is crazy, but that doesn't excuse you from disappearing completely. Just be there.
Differences:
We are humans. We are going to disagree about certain things. However, if you want to maintain your mom friends, you are going to need to work through those. Learn to say things in a kind and non condescending way. And remember you'll get through it!
Encouraging:
Always encourage your friends! You need them and they need you! We are all in this parenting thing together.
There's nothing better than a mom friend, unless it's a mom friend who shows up with coffee or wine.
