What Really Is Love?
Valentine's Day, the day of love. The day everyone alike reflects on their relationship or lack of relationship. This is a day single women often feel shame for being single. Many will be so desperate for "love" that they often go to unhealthy lengths to find it. But what they typically find in those extreme measures is something completely opposite of what love really is. I have been happily married now for nearly 7 years now!
he is my favorite human❤️
I have also been on the unhealthy side of things. I have been in that desperate mode, trying to find someone to love me. In that excruciating time of my life, I only found myself hurting even more from men who did anything but "love" me. It was only when I began to realize my worth that I reevaluated who I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. My standards went from who will say they love me, to who will actually love me and who am I ready to truly love back.
But what is love?
We hear from the internet, tv, and life surrounding us that love is a feeling. Yes, there are feelings attached to love, but is that real love? A feeling? An imperfect person who has feelings for another imperfect person that can come and go? We are imperfect! We are going to let people down. Does that imperfection lead us to become unlovable? Absolutely not.
Love is a verb, a choice. A consious decision to care for someone even when you believe they are unworthy of your love at times. There are days it can be incredibly easy to love someone. They have gotten your coffee and breakfast ready in the morning for you, surprised you with cleaning the house before you got home from a long day of work, or got a babysitter and planned a night out for both of you. There are other days where it can be difficult to love someone. They may have taken the last coffee in the morning, left the house a complete disaster, or said something in anger to hurt you. It is in those moments of hardship where even though it may be difficult to love them, your choice to continue to love becomes much more meaningful.
If you ask anyone who has been married for 50+ years, you will never hear them say that marriage is easy, or full of rainbows and sunshine. What you will hear them say is that they chose to love their spouse through everything, and that choice has filled them with a true joy! They took their wedding vows seriously. When they said "for better or for worse" they meant it, and chose to love them through their worst. When they said "for richer or poorer" they really meant if they lose a job, they're still in it. When they said "till death do us part", they were choosing to be there till one of them breathes their last breath.
Love isn't easy, but it certainly is beautiful! True love conquers anything.
So if you find yourself this valentines day looking for that special someone, remember to focus on yourself first. Remind yourself that you are worthy of that true love. You deserve to be loved unconditionally, so don't settle for anything less!!
