We’ll Never Regret the Times We Say ‘Yes’ to Our Kids
Saying no to our children is often so much easier than saying yes, but you’ll never regret saying yes. This is in regards to your time with them. My biggest piece of advice when talking to new moms is to say yes as often as you can. The other day I was talking to a new mom and she was telling me about not wanting to put her baby down when she needs rest. My response was “just hold him, you won’t regret it”.
Looking back at the last 13 years of being a mom of multiples, I realized I have never once regretted the times I have said yes. This includes saying yes to longer cuddles on the couch or sleeping in my bed at nights sometimes. Saying yes to playing a game with them, doing an activity I don’t necessarily love, or yes to setting up a massive fort.
I realized the moments I truly regret are the times I was selfish and preferred peace over being with them. The moments I want extra sleep for myself, or even when I wanted to scroll on my phone instead of playing that game with them. Saying no may seem like a good boundary to have at times, but just like I told my new mom friend, you won’t regret saying yes to your children.
The Damage of Saying ‘No’
By no means do I consider myself a parenting expert. I haven’t made it through getting all of my kids to adulthood yet, but I have been doing this thing for quite some time, 13 years to be exact. I have learned from many mistakes, and saying no to my kids has been one of them.
Years ago I was much worse at this and often said no. I was tired from lack of sleep at night, so during the day I didn’t want to do much of anything. Playing it off as needing rest or a break and making myself believe I was doing the right thing by my kids. Yikes!
Often when I say no to my children now and they start to frown, an internal alarm bell goes off and I immediately choose to take back my answer and respond with a yes.
Telling our kids we won’t do something with them or for them over time creates humans who don’t want to lean on their parents for anything. They begin to feel unworthy of your love and attention and begin to feel as though they are not good enough. A child first interacts with their parents before they go off into the world and if we set them up to believe they are not good enough, we are setting them up for failure.
If we say no too often, they will begin to completely disengage and learn to rely on The comfort of others rather than ours. Let’s not let it get to that point.
The Joy of Saying ‘Yes’
Kids naturally love their parents, and they love spending time with us! How lucky are we to have little humans who love us so much! Let’s use this to our advantage and embrace the love they have for us, learning to say yes more often.
When they ask to play a silly little game that we don’t love, we are not only playing a game, we are building their trust and love for us. After you’re done playing that silly game, you aren’t going to be annoyed you had to play, but rather be filled with new memories of laughter and joy.
That moment when they come to you at night because they’re scared to go to bed, say yes to letting them sleep in your bed. The next day you will most likely be tired, because they kick, move around a lot, and sometimes sleep talk, but they’re only young once. Those little kids turn into big kids and one day they aren’t going to ask to sleep in your bed anymore. In that moment when you realize they aren’t asking anymore, you’re gonna be glad you got in those extra snuggles.
Just Say ‘Yes’
When they ask you to run around the park with them, run though the sprinklers, going out on an adventure, volunteering on a school field trip, or kick around a soccer ball, just say yes. Say yes to the extra quality time together, the joy that you will receive and the joy you’ll also spark in them. Forget about how tired you are or how tired you are going to be, forget about looking silly or disliking a certain activity and just enjoy parenthood. Enjoy the love between parent and child and the bond that comes along with that. Just say yes.
