Life as a Mom with Depression

When I was diagnosed with depression at 18, or when I attempted suicide at 19, I never imagined I could become a mother! At least not while living with this mental illness. I mean, you would think those two don’t go hand in hand. A mom is involved. A mom is loving. A mom gives her all. But what happens when you are unable to be involved, unable to be loving, and unable to give your all?

Some of you may have depression yourself, but I’m going to assume that a lot of you don’t. Depression is UGLY. It is not just a feeling of sadness that you can snap out of, but sadness that controls every part of your mind. When in that state of mind, rationality goes out the window. As a mom, it will consume you with thoughts of being the worst parent on the planet! You feel as though you don’t deserve your child’s love. Depression takes every drop of energy out of you that it is nearly impossible at times to give grace and love to your children.

So you may be asking yourself, how can someone be a mom suffering from depression? Good news though, mental illness does not disqualify you to be a parent. If anything, it gives your kids the ability to witness our imperfections and how we should deal with them.

There have been many days my daughters have seen me meltdown and ugly cry. I use those imperfect moments to teach my girls that it's okay not to be okay. I sit them down after I’ve kinda sorta wiped the melted mascara off my face. We talk about how God gives all of us our own struggles. What they think theirs are. And how we all can grow through them. We talk about how God promises that in this world we are gonna have struggles, but that He will be our strength through it all. 

No matter what issues you deal with, big or small, you have the capability to be an amazing mom (or dad if you’re a fella)! Wouldn’t this world be so much better if we all recognized our weaknesses and stopped aiming for perfection?

Love your kiddos by allowing them to be imperfect! Love yourself by doing the same! There is beauty in brokenness. 

…..

If you are dealing with depression, reach out to someone and get help!

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to family/friends, you can reach me at hello@asktheinstamom.com. There is hope and you are loved by our creator!