Tips And Tricks To Manage Your Time With Multiple Kids
As a mom of four (five during foster placements) I get asked this question all the time. How do you manage your time with so many children? My answer is always “well, that’s a long story”, so here’s the story. I haven’t always been good at managing my time with all my kids. I have gone through a lot of years of struggling to get things right, but luckily I’ve definitely hit my stride in recent years. I’ve learned some things through trial and error. I’ve learned other things from other seasoned moms. I have also learned a lot from experimenting with good outcomes.
To all the moms out there who are struggling like I had for so many years, let me tell you, it can and will get easier. Know that in the meantime I am over here cheering you on in your own parenthood journey. Most importantly, you are not defined by your worst days or your worst moments.
As I always tell my kids, it doesn’t matter if you are perfect, as long as you are trying your best!
Routines
I used to be the one who hated routines. I laughed at parents who had them. Now here I am with routines that have completely changed the trajectory of my parenting. The routines that are extremely beneficial help get you and your kids in a rhythm. Your children will know exactly what to expect at all times. .
Keep wake up and bedtimes consistent. Maybe weekends will look a bit different.
Keep meal and snack times consistent. Keeping them from constant snacking will avoid them being too full for the healthier meal options.
On school days, get lunches packed. Keep lunches similar (one protein, one carbohydrate, one fruit, one vegetable, and maybe even one sweet).
Once the school day is over, decide what you want them to do and when. (Maybe an hour or two of screen time. Maybe reading time, crafting time, or time to play with toys.)
Decide if you want your kids to have some solo time be a part of their day.
During summer break, add the same activity to each day (library on Monday, bike ride on Tuesday, pool on Wednesday, splash pad on Thursday, picnic at the park every Friday)
No matter what their schedules look like, make it easy for you and them, make it fun, and make it manageable. Routines are a great for everyone to know what to expect. If your child knows they have to do something at a specified time, they are less likely to fight you on the follow through.
Solo Time With Each Child
Depending on how many kids you have, this can be a tricky one. Here’s the thing though, it can be as often as you’d like or have time for. It can be weekly, monthly, or twice a year. Kids thrive when they know they can have your undivided attention. There’s something about how happy my children are after they’ve been solo with me and or my husband. They are less grumpy, happier, and more willing to share things they wouldn’t normally share at home with their siblings listening in.
Give them the opportunity to choose where to go. Do they love going to a certain park that other siblings don’t? Do they love a certain activity that isn’t able to happen often? Or even a fast food restaurant they want to be at with you? No matter the place or activity, they will be genuinely happy.
Wake Up Early
This one was hard for me to get in a rhythm of at first. I am not a morning person, not in the slightest. However, I noticed that once I started waking up early, 30-60 minutes before the kids wake up, I was a happier and more calm mom. There is something about being alone to start your day that brings such a joy to your heart. For me, I will either watch a tv show, pray, read my bible, and my favorite, drinking a cup of coffee in silence!
Once the kids wake up, or are woken up, you have had a moment to be you. You become slower to anger and slower to yell. It becomes easier to hand out all of that love and attention that we give out on a constant basis.
Ultimately, we are better parents when we have had time to be ourselves first. Get up early, spend your time alone, then go into the chaos of parenthood with a steady heart.
Decompress
This may seem redundant, but you need time for yourself. If the last part is just not for you, that’s okay. The heart of the matter is making sure you get that time to yourself to decompress from the chaos of parenting. If you have a spouse or significant other, give each other time to get away whenever you can. If you are parenting solo, find yourself a babysitter. A friend or family member is almost always more than willing to help give you that time.
Take your time going to a coffee shop, a book store, shopping, or even a drive around town in silence. Do whatever makes your heart calm.
Parenting is tough, especially with multiples. There is a lot of thought and effort put into everything on a daily basis, so getting time to breathe is a must.
