The Highs and Lows of Foster Care

My husband and I are nearly one year into being certified for foster care, and boy has it been a journey. We’ve learned the ins and outs of the foster care system, yet I can say that I am still learning new things everyday.

We have seen some of the best parts of fostering and we have also seen some of the worst.

For those of you who have thought about stepping into this journey in anyway, maybe this can shed a little light on some grey areas or answer some questions you may have already had.

All of The Responsibility, None of The Ability

When it comes to many areas of foster care, the foster parents end up with all of the responsibilities and have nearly no ability to change anything. You are told the when, the where, and the how of everything. There might be therapy once a week or twice a week, and it might be inconvenient for your schedule. There might be zero medications and there might be a whole bag full, and you might disagree with the treatment someone else has provided. Even something as small as a haircut cannot be determined by foster parents, unless rights have been revoked from the biological parents.

If the child (or children) do not want to go to therapy, take their medication, or agree with any other decisions, foster parents will get the brunt of the anger. After all, we are the ones who have to enforce the rules.

When things don’t happen the way they are supposed to, a child can and will be moved onto another home, or fostering rights can be revoked.

There is a bright side in not having some of the decision making. When those decisions don’t sit well with the foster children, the fault can land on someone else’s lap.

A Little More Resilient

Being a foster parent or sibling of a foster kid makes you just a little more resilient to the hardships of life. You’ll see a lot of behaviors, deal with situations you wouldn’t normally have to, and work through a lot more problems within the family. Every single one of them is worth it, and every single issue makes everyone just a little bit stronger.

My kids haven’t had to deal with big situations before fostering. The biggest issue for them was a sister not sharing a toy, or who wouldn’t play with who. Now my kids are introduced to pre teen girls who have been neglected by their biological parents and the trauma from the fall out of that.

They have been introduced to a level of anger they’ve never seen before. Though that could be seen as a negative, my girls have become stronger for seeing us help her navigate those feelings, or even helping her themselves.

Despite all the negative behaviors that were introduced, they’ve gotten just a little bit tougher.

Hearts Expand

Foster care comes with a lot of struggles. There is a lot of sass, a lot of anger, a lot of tantrums, and a lot of behaviors you’ll never quite see in biological kiddos. However, foster care comes with an abundant amount of love. A love that is bigger than you could ever imagine.

Through all of the high and lows, every single bit of it is worth the growth that has happened in our hearts. We have seen our girls learn to love others better, be more compassionate, and more considerate. We have also learned to be more patient and kind.

If you’ve been thinking about jumping into foster care, this is your sign to start. Your heart won’t regret the decision. The amount of love in your heart will grow exponentially!