Letting Your Kids Go Is Tough
Our kids are growing up faster than we'd like to admit. Newborns are quickly become walking and talking toddlers. Toddlers are quickly becoming bike riding, sentence completing elementary schoolers. Elementary kids are quickly becoming hormonal and fearless teenagers. Teenagers are quickly becoming grown adults, leaving the nest and heading off for life on their own. I'm sure it'll all be a blur one day as our kids leave the nest, but for now (those of us with fairly young children), we need to cherish only having to let go a little
A parent's worst nightmare
My oldest three girls just recently started to ask me if they could have some independence. Immediately I felt my heart sink. No parent is ever prepared to hear that from their children. Their first request of independence was if they could walk to the park without me. Did that really just happen? They can surely not be old enough to go anywhere without me. I am their mom, their protector. They'll never be old enough to go anywhere without me, right? My gut reaction was to say no, but after discussing with my husband, we reluctantly decided to let them go together with a few important rules to follow along the way, like don't talk to strangers and stay together. They were thrilled! Screaming and getting ready together. I saw the sisterly bond begin to strengthen between them. They were all ready and they walked out of the house hand in hand.
I hated every second of them being away. I worried a lot and I cried a lot. All things unimaginable and worst case scenarios flooded my brain. Should I go check in on them? No, I can't. They need me to let them grow up just a little. I thought to myself, how on earth did my parents do this? This has got to be one of the worst forms of torture. The clock was ticking louder and louder. My brain was about to explode. Time was going so slow. How is it possible that it's only been 30 minutes?
The light at the end of the tunnel
I was about to lose all hope that they'd even make it home. I thought maybe they had been kidnapped or that they'd been run over by a speeding car on the one street they have to cross, but then they walked in the front door.
Beaming from ear to ear, they began to tell me how much fun they had going to the park together. Stories were flying out of their mouths simultaneously about how they played lava monster with some other little girls, or how one of them tripped while playing and the other two picked her up to give her love. My girls then begin to tell me that while they love me and enjoy having me take them to the park, they loved having me give them the ability to have some freedom to grow up.
This parenting thing isn't for the faint of heart. And though it is extremely tough, I know God has given me the privilege of being their mama. I have been given this gift that is so special. Four (someday five after adoption) girls to love on, to take care of, and to call my own. I am grateful for that gift, and for now, while I only have to allow them to take a one block trip over to the park, I will embrace the little steps of letting go. I am conscientiously choosing to be happy that I get a few more years with them and they don't have to leave the house quite yet. And I know for certain wherever they go, they will love me forever.
