Everyone Matters
People struggle with a wide variety of mental illnesses, but there is one thing alike in all of them, our inner struggle with feeling like we matter.
Early this morning, every parent near the Denver area in Colorado got a phone call from their children's district. The phone call begins by informing us that school is being cancelled due to an ongoing security threat that originated in Denver. A young girl by the name of Sol Pais, who was only 18 years old, was tipped off to the cops as being infatuated by the Columbine mass shooting that happened nearly 20 years ago. She flew into the Denver airport and immediately went to purchase a shotgun with ammunition. It had seemed as though she had a plan to make an attack at a school. Later today, police informed the public that (details excluded) Sol Pais took her own life. The only way to explain this type of thinking and behavior is some sort of ongoing mental illness.
As someone who battles anxiety and depression, I know that the type of thoughts in your head can be deep and dark and can also be extremely irrational. I know that those thoughts can spiral out of control and that you can become very impulsive. Luckily, we have many ways to help keep mental illness under control such as access to therapists, self help strategies, having a relationship with Jesus, and sometimes even medication. If you are willing to seek help, there are ways to battle these types of illnesses.
What this girl and many others deal with (on obviously different levels of intensity) is feeling like they matter. I can tell you without a doubt in my mind that Sol Pais did not feel like she mattered. She did not feel like her life or others lives were worth something. That is wrong and that is heartbreaking!
For anyone out there reading this, I want to tell you, YOU MATTER! That feeling that many have of "the world is better off without me" is a lie! Those thoughts and feelings are not rational. If you or anyone you know feels that way, it is time to get help. It is time to understand the illness behind these thoughts. You deserve to understand your mind and feel whole.
As humans, it is our job to not be total jerks. It is our job to be kind. It is our job to love well. It is our job to not just hangout with people, but truly know them. Know them well enough to know if and when they need help. It is our job as parents to teach our kids to not become bullies, but rather a friend to the lonely.
We need to teach our children by example how to be inclusive even when it is out of our comfort zones. We need to lead our children well so that they can grow up in a place of less violence. A place where them and their children and their children's children can feel safe.
I can't help but think back to a humorous skit by Dane Cook from several years ago. He talks about this loner at work. Coworkers avoid him at all costs because he's weird. Dane then mentions how he always makes sure to talk to the guy. At the end of their chat, he gifts the loner a candy bar. Why, because he wants to make sure that if and when a day comes where that guy snaps and comes into work with a shotgun, the loner guy will take mercy on him. While this skit was intended to be funny, there is a real sense of truth behind what he said. There are many people who show up to work, to school, or even to church and are automatically ostracized whether by the way they look or how they act. There are many who are suffering internally and nobody makes them feel welcome. Nobody gets the chance to really know them and their heart. In turn that person refuses to get help for reasons such as feeling even more of an outsider.
This type of behavior is exactly what is causing people to react out of their mental illness.
This is the cause for people to feel like they don't matter. Let's begin a change. Let's take the lead in ending this shooting epidemic by loving others well and making them feel like they matter, because they do! All lives matter, whether tall, short, black, white, muslim, Christian, adults, babies, and everyone in between!
