Age Appropriate Chores and Responsibilities for Kids
Parenting can be overwhelming on many levels, and one of those is trying to decide what chores to make your kids do, how to make them do the chores, responsibilities they should take on and when they should be doing those.
For many years I tried and tried and ended up giving up because as soon as I got back lash form the kids about doing anything, I just simply did the chores myself. Don’t get me wrong, I still do this from time to time. Believe it or not the perfect parent doesn’t exist. So when you inevitably have a tough time with things, just take a deep breath and try again. I have faith in you!
Come Up With a Plan
First things first, we need a plan. Take an afternoon to sit down and come up with what you’d like to do with your partner. Figure out when you want to start kids on having responsibilities. Do you want them to wait until they are school age or would you prefer to have them start doing things when they are toddlers? Whatever it is that you choose, there is no wrong answer. The fact that you are trying to make the best of your parenting means you’re doing an amazing job!
Once they are at an age where they can recognize their own name, I can confidently say that you are ready for a chore chart of sorts. They don't necessarily need to be able to read any of the chores. You can color code the chores and their brains will slowly learn. Here is the chore chart our family has used for awhile now. It is incredibly easy to use and you can also adjust if and when need be.
The Chores and Responsibilities
Chores and responsibilities for a young child is going to be different than older kids. Ideas for a toddler can be picking up their own toys they have taken out, putting stuffed animals that have fallen onto the ground back onto their bed.
For kindergarten through second grade chores could be gathering dishes from around the house, feeding the animals, picking up trash, cleaning up toys, making their bed (it’s not going to look good, but the goal is trying), or throwing their clothes in the hamper.
Third through fifth grade could be all of the below plus emptying bathroom or smaller trash cans, picking up animal waste (with maybe a little help), or wiping up counters or cleaning mirrors (remember they are learning, it won’t be perfect).
A middle schooler can do any of the below things just with more finesse. They can also start cleaning full bathrooms, actually unloading and loading the dishwasher, doing their own laundry and folding it mostly the correct way. I may possibly have OCD so I personally don’t think anyone but me does it correctly, but i’m willing to look past it if its tucked away in their own drawer. They are also able to start babysitting their siblings while you and your significant other go on a date or anything else, at least when they are responsible enough for such things. You can teach them how to make their own food as well. If a big meal if not being made for the whole family, they are able to start using the microwave, toaster and stove top possibly by themselves.
High schoolers are learning to do these things well and make sure they are prepared to live on their own. They can also start running errands for you such as grocery shopping or picking up siblings from sporting events if they have a license. There’s also the ability for them to start making dinner for the whole family.
The How of Getting Things Done
This may be the trickiest part, especially if you are like me, because I am pushover and when my kids look at me with puppy dog eyes and say please, it is so difficult to say no. Oh and then there are the moments where they whine and scream at you until you give in and tell them you’ll just do it for them. That is also a really good way for me to do things. I won’t tell them that though. I’m pretty sure they’ve already figured it out anyways.
If you want them to get things done themselves though, here are some ways to get these things done.
Take their technology away. Yes, they will whine, but if you stay strong, you can out stubborn them and win the war.
Make it a game. If you have multiple kids, telling them the first one to finish their tasks wins works wonders. They always want to beat their siblings even if there is no prize. The prize is just to win.
Make it fun. If you only have one kid (or more), you can do a chore alongside of them. Turn on music and sing and dance while getting things done together. Kids really do argue less when they see that you have to do things as well. When they see that you are having fun, it’s more likely to get them in the mood to have fun as well.
Have an incentive. Sometimes me and my husband will give them a treat or special meal of some sorts, and other times we will tell them that we will do something fun as a family once everyone is done. Whether you are taking them to a park, to a friends house, having friends over to yours, or whatever you decide on, they’re more willing to get things done.
It’s Okay to Backslide
You may have moments where you take breaks unintentionally from making your kids do their chores. It’s okay. It doesn’t mean they will never get back to doing those things and you need to give up. It just means you have to start again. Sometimes kids get used to you doing things for them, but that doesn’t mean they won’t adapt once they are asked to have responsibilities again.
Parenting is no small feat. It’s an big undertaking raising humans to be independent and not have to rely on others for help in day to day activities. We are guiding them on how to be responsible, kind, and loving adults. That takes effort and that takes pushing through failures. Failures also lead to some of the biggest successes.
Take things one day at a time and give yourself grace.
