Focus on their Hearts and the Rest Will Follow
I woke up last week, had my morning cup of coffee while reading emails. I saw one from each of my kids teachers. I immediately knew what this was about because of the time of year. It’s time for parent teacher conferences. Though my kids love parent teacher conferences, as a child I hated them because I knew I was in trouble. Without a doubt I knew my teachers were going to tell my parents the inevitable “she’s a good student, but she never stops talking and it’s a distraction to the class.” Who knows, maybe that’s why I became a blogger. Another way for me just just keep talking, but I digress.
I immediately ask my kids the same question I always do “Is there anything you’d like to tell me before your teacher does?” This is their one and only opportunity to tell the truth. In almost a uniform fashion, they reply “No mom, we are good in school. We listen to the teachers, do our work, try our best, and are kind to our classmates.” Though this has always been the case thus far, I have to ask because I’ll never assume they are any particular way in school. I am glad to know they believe deep in their hearts they are great at school, but I guess we’ll just have to wait and see if the teachers will confirm or deny these statements.
Conferences
I don’t know about you, but I love parent teacher conferences. I love finding out all the things about my kids, and even hearing if there are any areas I need to help them study a little bit more.
I walk into the classrooms one at at time, maybe reintroduce myself if they don’t quite know me yet, take a seat and begin to listen to the variety of test scores, school work, and behavioral scores. They’ll tell me how each of my kids is doing, some areas where they are doing above average, others where they are right on track, and maybe an area we need a little extra studying in if need be.
My husband and I care about one major thing though; what does your heart look like to others in school? Are you loving others well? Are you treating classmates and teachers with respect? So when we ask the teachers how their heart is and they tell me how sweet my kiddos are, my heart is full and happy. I feel like I have done my job well as a mother.
Quite the Opposite
We constantly tell our kids what matters most to us as parents is them trying their best, but most importantly, above all else that they have good hearts. Before our kids started school, we thought that maybe this may not produce the best of grades, but we would rather them be loving humans than be the smartest kids in the room.
We realized over the years though that it’s quite the opposite. Though we assumed their grades may not be the best, their grades followed their hearts.
Focus On The Heart
What does it look like for kids to actively pursue a good heart, and how do we as parents nurture that?
Love others how you want to be loved. This means reaching out to that student who is sitting alone and integrate them into your friend group. Stick up for someone who is getting picked on by letting it be known that is not okay and comfort someone through that hardship. Talk to friends with kind words rather than harsh ones, even if they are having off days. We cannot forget that everyone has off days or off moments, and that’s when we need to offer grace. After all, we’re going to need that grace ourselves at times. Be uplifting rather than tearing others down by focusing on people’s best characteristics rather than their not so great ones.
Treat your teachers with respect. Listen when they’re talking. Do your work when they ask you to. If you have been given a homework assignment, do it in the manner they have requested it to be done. Most importantly, don’t forget they are people too, with feelings, so always speak with kindness.
Grades Will Follow
To be honest, I don’t think our kids smarts has a ton to do with genetics. It has more to do with what we have taught them to be at their core. How to be a good human.
We never asked our children to study for hours at night until they understood it perfectly. We never asked them to read and reread until they knew their textbook forwards and backwards. We have not told them to do well or else they will lose all the things and activities that they love like iPads and sleepovers.
What my husband and I have learned, though it may have been accidentally, is that great grades soon followed their behavior. We realized that when we have focused on their hearts, the good grades came with it.
The Heart of the Matter
Though our learning abilities vary from person to person, our ability to work harder is in all of us. We will begin to hone in on that ability if we just allow our kids to first focus on becoming their best selves on a heart level. Teach them to love and respect themselves and others and the rest will follow.
